Never Again

5 Things About Hangovers

1. Hangovers are caused by drinking liquid containing 'alcohol', a poisonous depressant which affects the body by causing capillaries to open, thereby temporarily duping the body into thinking it is too warm so that it uses fluid to cool down. This in turn causes dehydration, which results in the brain shrinking away from the sides of the skull, leading to headaches, depression, lack of judgement and shame.

2. I have one.
3. See above.
4. See above.
5. I made that first paragraph up. I have no idea how scientifically accurate it is.